Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Pre-School Blues

Well, it's here. The day that I have to accept my little girl is growing up.

Today my daughter started Pre-School.

We have been working up to it for weeks. It started off with a bang. Ava woke up this morning and was sick. How ironic is that,...first day of school and the the poor girl was actually sick. She threw up all over the bed but was determined not to miss "playschool" as we call it.

Showed up to the school 20 minutes early. Not sure why I thought we needed to be there that early. You could definitely pick me out as the "new Mom on the block" at the school. With no conviction in my eyes, looking lost and holding tight to my daughter's hand and carrying my 18mth old son who weighs more than a 3 year old. It was the oddest thing. Dropping my child off with strangers who don't know the way she likes her sandwiches cut.

The saddest part was watching her walk away. We had been lingering in the hall while the teachers figured out which classroom she belonged in. I was waiting to say good-bye and give her a pep talk until it was time for me to leave. But the teacher came and took her hand and walked her into her classroom. I stayed back and watched her walk down the hall. All I could manage to say was, "Go with your teacher baby girl and have fun." She turned and looked into my eyes as she left. My heart folded into a bunch of pieces and landed in my throat. I stood there watching my baby turn into a big girl.

I turned to leave and all I could think was how I didn't get to hug her good-bye.

Have I done enough? Have I taught her well? Have I prepared her?

What I hope for her as she starts this new page in the chapter of her childhood:

To be kind

For others to be kind to her

That the other little girls and boys find her as adorable as I do

That her heart doesn't get broken

That she never feels alone or scared

That she doesn't miss Mommy nearly as much as I miss her

Go get 'em baby girl!


  1. Oh, be strong! This post made me cry! I'm sure it is so hard to let go and let her be a big girl, away from mommy. I can't even leave town or let my son spend the night with his grandma. I would miss him too much! I'm thinking about you and I hope she had fun!!

  2. This was such a beautiful post (and I LOVE her name)! But listen, she'll end up LOVING it and making new little friends. My son was in day-care at ten-months, so I'm ready to talk sobbing with you any day. That was one of the most difficult experiences of my life. But, pre-school, they are ready for that. She's 3, not 3 months and she'll love it. Can't wait to hear how she's doing (and you, too)! ;)

  3. It's so hard...hang in there. It gets easier. I had a hard time with the whole leaving my kid with a stranger thing too, but they made it AND loved it.

    Anxious to hear how the first day went!

  4. What a wonderful post. I know your sad and it is hard. I cry every year, it just reminds me how fast they are growing up. Something about sending them off with backpacks, it just hits me another year closer to being a grown up. I am so proud of your little girl for walking in with her teacher and being a big girl. My son threw the biggest fit I have ever seen. I had to leave with him crying so hard it broke my heart. Of course as soon as I was out of the building he stopped and had the best day of his life. It did not stop him from throwing the same fit the next day. After 3 days he did finally stop. Enjoy some one on one time with your little guy because before you know it he will be walking that hall..

  5. I know it is hard--but they are so cute! xo

  6. You ladies out in blogland are fantastic. Thanks so much for the encourgement and support! I'll post soon about how it all went! Now I'm off to go catch up on my blog reading. Can't wait to see what you ladies have been up to!

  7. What a heart-felt, tear-jerking post!!!

    I remember felling the SAME EXACT way last year when my son started 1/2 day Kindergarten. He starts full-day 1st grade & I have had that queasy feeling in my stomach all day anticipating tomorrow!!! ((Hugs)) Dawn