Well, it's here. The day that I have to accept my little girl is growing up.
Today my daughter started Pre-School.
We have been working up to it for weeks. It started off with a bang. Ava woke up this morning and was sick. How ironic is that,...first day of school and the the poor girl was actually sick. She threw up all over the bed but was determined not to miss "playschool" as we call it.
Showed up to the school 20 minutes early. Not sure why I thought we needed to be there that early. You could definitely pick me out as the "new Mom on the block" at the school. With no conviction in my eyes, looking lost and holding tight to my daughter's hand and carrying my 18mth old son who weighs more than a 3 year old. It was the oddest thing. Dropping my child off with strangers who don't know the way she likes her sandwiches cut.
The saddest part was watching her walk away. We had been lingering in the hall while the teachers figured out which classroom she belonged in. I was waiting to say good-bye and give her a pep talk until it was time for me to leave. But the teacher came and took her hand and walked her into her classroom. I stayed back and watched her walk down the hall. All I could manage to say was, "Go with your teacher baby girl and have fun." She turned and looked into my eyes as she left. My heart folded into a bunch of pieces and landed in my throat. I stood there watching my baby turn into a big girl.
I turned to leave and all I could think was how I didn't get to hug her good-bye.
Have I done enough? Have I taught her well? Have I prepared her?
What I hope for her as she starts this new page in the chapter of her childhood:
To be kind
For others to be kind to her
That the other little girls and boys find her as adorable as I do
That her heart doesn't get broken
That she never feels alone or scared
That she doesn't miss Mommy nearly as much as I miss her
Go get 'em baby girl!