Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Merry Christmas and Bahumbug

I can't believe Christmas is only a few days away. The excitement is building inside of me and I can hardly wait. Hardly wait to race down the stairs first thing Christmas morning with the kiddo's. With all this cheer that I have and always have, there is something new this year. Holiday Blues,....What is that????

I've never had it before. What is this wierd feeling? For the last 30 plus years I have been the team captain of everything Cheery. Need to get your fill of Christmas,...come to my house and by the first week on November you would swear you had entered the North Pole. Want to watch a Christmas movie? I have them all alphabetically arranged just waiting to be enjoyed or I could act them out for you scene by scene.

But this year something is a little off. I'm not sure if it's because I'm getting a little older and things are starting to bother me. Things that usually I would sluff off my shoulders so that someone else would be happy. The truth is,...I'm tired of being the bigger person!!! That's right, I said it outloud and posted it here in Blogland for the world to see. No I don't want to come to your house for Christmas Eve for the 7th year in a row so I can watch all my relatives get drunk on Teguilla and speak in a language that I can't understand. Don't get me wrong, this is wildly entertaining on any other night other than Christmas Eve. Then drive over an hour back with past out children and 2 tired parents.

A friend of mine put it poetically the other night as we were having our yearly Christmas Cookie baking session, i.e. kids are in bed and we drink a bottle of wine with the excuse of baking. She said I needed my "Donna Reed" moments. I don't have them very often. I'm the Mom who forgot to send a recipe to babygirl's preschool for the cookbook they were making. That left my child's picture in the back of the book with NO recipe. That's right,..I'm the Mom who forgot. This happens a lot.

So when the holidays come I want to dive into being a Mother and a wife. Live like The Beavers. I want to plan our special meals and holiday gatherings. I want to stay up late baking cookies for Santa and watch the boys play football outside. That's what I want! This isn't too much to ask but all these years I've been playing a role in someone else's Donna Reed moment.

Hubby has been very supportive since my "breakdown." You know the one that all husband's dread. He came home to find his wife in a bath while the children ran wreckless around me. I figured if I closed the bedroom door and I could see them from my bath,...it was just like parenting. I completely unloaded on him and he actually took it pretty good. So for the first year in 7 years we are staying at home on Christmas Eve. We'll get to watch Christmas movies with the kiddo's and put them to bed early. Then have a "wrap" party to prepare all the kid's Christmas goodies! The point is, sometimes you have to say what it is that you want. If saying it doesn't work, then DECLARE it!

Here's my sweet bunch of Holiday munchkins at our recent family portrait.


Thursday, December 3, 2009

It's a Wonderful Life,...because I have a big brother

I'm going to take this opportunity to completely humiliate my big brother. He hates uncomfortable scenes. If I really wanted to make him miserable I would invite him and all his "too much testosterone" friends over to listen to me sing a lame karaoke song, probably something by the B 52's. Why is it all karaoke singers always know Love Shack? I'm just saying. At his wedding rehearsal dinner my Mom had arranged for a high school girl to sing some ridiculous Christina Aguilar song and I could see the misery in his body language. Shifting from side to side, trying to force a content smile on his face.

Throughout my entire life one thing has always been constant. I could always count on my big brother. Without Fail. When everyone forgot my birthday, including my own parents, I went to the mailbox to find a Texas Tech Key Chain arrive on my actual 16th birthday. Even away at college big brother managed to remember his little sister on her big day.

For whatever reason I was always the kid whose parents forgot to pick them up. Whether that be from school, a party or a friend's house. I hated that feeling of being forgotten. But when big brother was suppose to pick me up, he was always there right on time. Never complained about having to drive his little sister around.

Even in high school when I was a nerdy freshman and he was a high school senior football star, big brother showed me around. Not for one second was he embarrassed to have his little sister join him and all his faithful followers. Drove me to school every day. The only rule he ever imposed was that I was not allowed to date any of his football friends. Fair Enough. I just waited until I was in college and then made out with all his friends,...sorry brother. He has lifted upon thousands and thousands of heavy boxes for me, cracked a joke when I needed one, taught me how to be cool and how to cheat at Monopoly.

So what has big brother done now to completely cement his spot as


The other night I was sitting with hubby complaining about family today. Why is it no one really cares anymore? Why don't they ever come over and visit with their niece and nephew? Why are every one's parents always divorced these days. Why can't they make it 10 minutes down the street to share Thanksgiving with us. What are we,...accessories for our families when they need someone to play the role of sister, daughter, in-law? While hubby and I were getting all worked up I noticed that yet again all these years later I have received a package in the mail from big brother. Opened it up to find a letter and a ornament. As I read the letter tears fell down my face. How is it that big brother always knows just the right words to say, even when he lives over 9 hours away. A letter written to me by my BIG BROTHER and a Christmas ornament from my favorite move "It's a Wonderful Life. Someone actually really knows me. Someone actually knows my heart and cares.

The ornament was A-W-E-S-O-M-E for a self declared Christmas maniac like myself. It's my "go to" holiday movie and every year I cry like any thirty something woman should. I'm amazed every time when Clarence gets his wings and George discovers he really does have a wonderful life. On the ornament is a scene from the movie and on the back was a message to me from Karolyn Grimes. She was the woman who played ZuZu in the movie. I couldn't believe it.

Can your big brother do that???

So as far as I'm concerned big brother invented the rain, the wind, the sky and the moon. And as a bonus, he'll kick your butt if you mess with his sister,...

My present to you big brother, you're forgiven for cutting my hair when we were kids.